Worthy and Enough

This summer has had it's whirlwind of surprises. Creating my own plans was useless because no matter how hard I tried setting things up for myself, I was only ever really setting it up for MYself. I look up into the blue sky with the grey particles of smog in the way of the clean air above and I ask where my time has gone. But His only reply is giving me more of it.Other people aren't as blessed and other people don't realize that how they are spending their days will be looked upon at the end of time. Some, much like me, will realize how much more I could have done to witness the true beauty of the seconds and minutes He has given us so that we may breathe his name and praise Him with our very fingertips pointed to the sky in adoration.

But the day ticks by and I feel unworthy yet again that I failed to serve Him through my busy day. The "enough" word suffocates my conscience of my brain that tells the rest of my body that it is not enough. And there the devil himself lies in the word "NOT" before worthy and enough.
Though when I sit down at the beginning of the day with my meek cup of coffee and fingers feeling for the beads in front of me repeating my novena, I feel my Mother Mary grasping my hands and looking into my eyes telling me that I am worthy of every second of the day, of every breath and blink. That I was worth her son dying and I was worth not only His suffering but hers.

And when the busy day caught up with me and I am grasping those beads at the end of my day with my consciousness going in and out as my eyelids are getting heavier and my Hail Mary's are getting muddled, I feel her lay me to rest. Tucking me in and kissing me goodnight because I tried my best. And just like that, my eyes open to a new day to start the praising all over.