When we can't settle in...
My boxes lay full on the floor below me. I can't unpack them for many reasons. My jet lag is weighing heavy on my eyelids, my eyes burn to open. My wrists have grown weak and can't seem to even carry the weight of my baggage let alone someone else's.
I can't unpack these boxes. For when I unpack them, my past self will be splattered across the room in a post-storm frenzy that I will have to rebuild. And as I pick up the pieces of a life I packed up, I will have to build something new. I will be forced to start over. To navigate the steep and never-ending worries and lies that this next phase holds.
These boxes unearth and awaken something more. They hold on to the fabric of time like a toddler clenches his mother's dress, so sure that if he lets go he'll lose something so important.
I wish so much that I could just settle in and be comfortable in this new space, but my mind refuses to pull up a chair and recognize the goodness that is to come. It's trust slipping through my fingers and my stubbornness holding on to what I think is right for me. It's me not accepting the place that God has put me. It's me refusing to believe that I am where I am supposed to be and an overwhelming sense of shame of allowing others to see that it's not the life I meticulously planned for.
What I usually fail to realize is that I am not a victim of where I am in life. This story line was not penned by me, but by a man who so fully understands my heart. By a man who created my very being and desire to know Him and therefore know love.
So why should I be ashamed and afraid to accept what is before me? I may be a toddler in His eyes, rubbing my tired little eyes and throwing a tantrum about unpacking my boxes and buckling in for a new adventure, but He continues to give me the strength of the person He wants me to become.
This is my last semester at college. The more I take a breath and settle in the more I will get out of it. He urges me to look outside of where I want to be and look inward to where He wants me right now, right here.
Brothers and sisters, when He asks us to settle in where He has put us, do yourself a favor and settle in. Try your hardest to surrender. It's easier said than done, but allowing this to happen is allowing Him into our lives and our hearts. Accepting His wishes for us will almost feel as though we are weakening ourselves in a world that so boldly thinks that it is not responsible thing to do. That is a lie that needs to be broken, we weaken our ground and tear down the brick walls surrounding our perfectly planned lives when we say yes to Him. Settling in can be uncomfortable at times, for He never asks us to be comfortable. It wouldn't allow us to grow and relish in the fruits of His sacrifice.
So, settle in brothers and sisters. It's going to be good.
I can't unpack these boxes. For when I unpack them, my past self will be splattered across the room in a post-storm frenzy that I will have to rebuild. And as I pick up the pieces of a life I packed up, I will have to build something new. I will be forced to start over. To navigate the steep and never-ending worries and lies that this next phase holds.
These boxes unearth and awaken something more. They hold on to the fabric of time like a toddler clenches his mother's dress, so sure that if he lets go he'll lose something so important.
I wish so much that I could just settle in and be comfortable in this new space, but my mind refuses to pull up a chair and recognize the goodness that is to come. It's trust slipping through my fingers and my stubbornness holding on to what I think is right for me. It's me not accepting the place that God has put me. It's me refusing to believe that I am where I am supposed to be and an overwhelming sense of shame of allowing others to see that it's not the life I meticulously planned for.
What I usually fail to realize is that I am not a victim of where I am in life. This story line was not penned by me, but by a man who so fully understands my heart. By a man who created my very being and desire to know Him and therefore know love.
So why should I be ashamed and afraid to accept what is before me? I may be a toddler in His eyes, rubbing my tired little eyes and throwing a tantrum about unpacking my boxes and buckling in for a new adventure, but He continues to give me the strength of the person He wants me to become.
This is my last semester at college. The more I take a breath and settle in the more I will get out of it. He urges me to look outside of where I want to be and look inward to where He wants me right now, right here.
Brothers and sisters, when He asks us to settle in where He has put us, do yourself a favor and settle in. Try your hardest to surrender. It's easier said than done, but allowing this to happen is allowing Him into our lives and our hearts. Accepting His wishes for us will almost feel as though we are weakening ourselves in a world that so boldly thinks that it is not responsible thing to do. That is a lie that needs to be broken, we weaken our ground and tear down the brick walls surrounding our perfectly planned lives when we say yes to Him. Settling in can be uncomfortable at times, for He never asks us to be comfortable. It wouldn't allow us to grow and relish in the fruits of His sacrifice.
So, settle in brothers and sisters. It's going to be good.
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